Like the song from Wicked, it is a miracle of spirit to defy gravity. To be able to float above what has been holding you down is magical and triumphant. It’s been a long time coming and an even more difficult journey than I imagined.
It’s been four years and I think I can finally say I re-invented myself. My “ah-ha” moment was when a banking recruiter called me to “catch up on her old files.” She hadn’t even gotten the memo (that I was laid off from a large banking company years ago). As I told her all the things I had done to grow as a person, she politely acted impressed. However, in financial terms, I offered nothing for her.
The point is, she doesn’t matter to my life. I write two blogs. I’ve been published in an urban newspaper. I tutor elementary students. I volunteer with babies in a city hospital. I have a real estate license and a masters degree in organizational development. I AM A CATCH….. but most employers don’t recognize this. You might as well put green paint on my face like the main character of Wicked.
In the traditional definition of corporate salary success, I am not successful, at least not yet. I’ve had some small real estate sales. My minimal pay for working at a school is a stipend at best. But my integrity is intact. I have human connection and children make me laugh. I have indeed succeeded in completely changing my quality of life in four years. I am defying gravity in a spiritual sense of rising above it all.
There are good days, there are bad days, and there are great days. Bad days are when self-doubt has won the day. Good days fly quickly. Great days provide a magic carpet for the soul. It is this sense of defying gravity – when you ask yourself – if I left this earth, would I regret my career reboot? Life is short, mundane, and messy. To set out to change is delicate and unorganized. I imagined I could have sang these lyrics to the recruiter and they wouldn’t have understood one word! But I do now.
Lyrics from Defying Gravity (Wicked)
Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I’m through with playing by the rules
Of someone else’s game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It’s time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes and leap!
Use this link for the entire song (which still gives me chills) performed for the Tony Awards: https://youtu.be/ej4Aqs1eDgQ